bitchin' interns: Hey, read this because i'm cool

Dear Diary,

Jacqueline, the Brooks Valedictorian, was a meanie today and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED on Leriam the upscale planet-earth travel agent. Throw in a beach bum italian named Stefano, the 9th cast member of the Jersey Shore named Chris, The great and flawless Elias Rios, and you have the makings of a prematurely canceled television show entitled Survivor: The Bitchin' Interns Edition.

SO ANYWAYS, before I was rudely interrupted by the rabid screaming of NYC crackheads outside of my apartment, I came here with the intention of blogging about today's look-book shoot for CD GREENE. Sit back, grab your pop corn, and tuck your kids into bed because it's about to exciting up in this motha sucka!

Today was quite an eventful day for me - one of the better and more memorable of my NYC visit. The day started off pretty rough for me when I involuntarily experienced a horrible phenomenon that is plaguing the life of countless reckless youth: a hangover. I have never had one before and needless to say it was an interesting feeling. What's more interesting is waking up on the floor on top of my roommate's dog-fur carpet. After I rushed out of my apartment I managed to successfully stumble my way to set of Jodi-Bear's photoshoot. And yes I did just call you that, Jodi. Upon my arrival, the model (who was stunning) was in hair and makeup and the Bitchin Interns were hard at work setting up the background and lights while I was hand fed grapes and fanned by egyptian women.

The most difficult part of setting up definitely had to be the assembling of the softbox. We incorrectly placed in the poles into the slots and as a result, we all struggled to get them unjammed…that is until the brave, heroic, foreign, and ever-so-strong Stefano came to the rescue. With little assistance, the juice head guido of a man was able to unjam the softbox and reassemble it into the glorious light source responsible for illuminating the models. As usual, Jacqueline was not one to be upstaged in the muscle category, so she secretly did voodoo on Stefano to ruin the rest of his day. Guess what America! The Salem Witch Trial descendant SUCCEEDED. Out of nowhere, Stefano's Italian restaurant (no surprise there) called him in to work and he had to leave Jodi's shoot earlier.

Shortly after, the coolest male model I ever met, named Parker, knocked on the door. When he first walked in, he looked like a pizza guy so we didn't know what to do, but eventually we realized he was a model so we put our wallets away and let him on in. Parker was covered in cool tattoos and usually one would think that it would hinder his modeling opportunities, but if anything it has made him stand out against the crowd. Much like myself, he was into comics and superheroes and that's all it really takes to find common ground with me. Soon, hair and make up was done Jodi was ready to shoot!

The shoot was pretty awesome, but there was some favoritism definitely at play. Normally I'm Jodi's go to person for anything and everything because I'm the shizzy, but today the tide apparently turned. Snooki's boyfriend himself, Christuation, was solely called in to assist Jodi as the rest of us contemplated suicide at the CD GREENE balcony. At that point I heard a whole lotta competitive jibba jabba from Leriam aka Carmen Sandiego, and Ratatouille actor, Stefano, about who has more stamps on their passport. After crying a little in the lavish penthouse bathroom, I shook it off, wiped away the tears, and strutted my way back to Hater City with the other interns.

One of the biggest highlights of the day other than Jodi's successful shoot, the great pizza, and the early departure of Stefano was definitely the conversations I had with the designers. They were very social and approachable individuals who were never void of topics of conversation. Granted they almost killed my spirit with their fabricated rumor of Taylor Lautner replacing Christian Bale in Batman 3, but once that mess was all cleared up, we were able to continue talking about more fruitful topics like their clothing design and their target sales market. I was really fascinated by their success and happy to see that there are good people doing big things in New York City.

The photo shoot lasted about 5 hours with well over 20 outfits being photographed for the look-book. Initially, the sky was cloudy, which provided a perfect room temperature and overcast for Jodi and the interns to function properly under, but it sure as hell did not last long. Before we knew it, the sun was shamelessly beating on our backs and turned us into fan-reliant fiends. At that point, a gust of wind from that tiny fan was of greater value than a truckload of Cuban cocaine. Right now, we're not sure exactly how the sun became so hot, so fast, but I have a theory that Stefano broke jackie's spell and called upon the Vatican clergymen to put a spell of vengeance on us as payback.

All in all, I walked away from the shoot feeling good and happy to be a member of this team. Though this internship is not paid, I feel that the environment and the things were are learning are of a greater value. I find reassurance that even though I'm at a desk at my other internship filing way images and reorganizing portfolios, I know that I have a kick ass hands-on internship with Jodi-Bear Jones of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. With this, I bid you all a farewell and pray that yall stop all of the hatin' cuz it don't look good on y'all.

PEACE AND BLESSINGZZ

-King Elias.

P.S.

Here are some images from the day.